Photo: Flickr, peterme

We’ve all been there: you’ve changed your baby’s diaper, fed/nursed her, put her down for a nap, played with her, rocked her, sang to her, and pled with her, but still she won’t sleep! Dealing with a cranky baby can leave both parents and baby in a pretty fussy mood, and it can cause a lot of anxiety. Thankfully, though no two babies are the same, there are some tried and tested tactics you can employ to soothe your cranky newborn.

Bounce the newborn

No, I don’t mean bounce her off the floor in frustration. I mean bounce her in your arms. Rocking is a solid standby, but when my daughter was a newborn she wavered between liking to be rocked and liking to be bounced. And she punished her mom and me if we opted for the wrong choice. To make matters worse, her preferred bouncing method varied, too. Sometimes a gentle bounce in my arms sufficed, while other times she preferred a more vigorous bounce in my arms on an exercise ball. When you have a cranky newborn, you have to be willing to try anything. { read more }

About Jeff Jacobson

Socrates understood himself to be the smartest man in Athens because he knew at least enough to know he knew nothing. That's me. I'm an inconsistently successful father, stepfather, husband, and writer. But at least I know it.

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Photo: Flickr, elbragon

No parent likes to leave their child in someone else’s hands. But as hard as it can be on you, odds are good it’s even harder on your child. Read on for a few tips and tricks to help your toddler deal with separation anxiety.

Do the prep work

Before simply dropping off your child suddenly, lay the groundwork for a smooth transition. If possible, talk about the separation far ahead of time, and be as specific as you can. Children feel better when they know what to expect, so tell them exactly what they can expect to happen: where they’re going, with whom, and for how long. And, of course, always follow it up by telling them when either you are their other parent will be back to collect them.

Don’t dawdle at drop-off

Kids pick up on cues from their parents. That’s not to say you toddler will be all smiles at drop-off time just because you are; but the odds are better than if you sulk and show anxiety about it, too. So put on a happy face, use positive words and good body language, tell your toddler how much fun he’s going to have, make the drop-off, and then make a hasty getaway. But don’t run.

Leave him with a keepsake

If your toddler’s separation anxiety is especially peaked, consider leaving him with a little keepsake — a reminder of you. It can be anything from a photo of your, to a blanket with your scent on it, to a special something the two of you share. And, of course, if he has a security blanket or stuffed animal, bring that long, too.

Don’t diminish your child’s feelings

It’s all too easy to forget that toddlers don’t share our sense of the passage of time. Hours can seem like minutes when they’re having fun (five more minutes, mom, please?), or days when they’re not. Try to resist the impulse to rationalize what’s going on, as doing so can give them the message that their feelings aren’t valid.

Remind yourself that these strong reactions aren’t simply a toddler being dramatic; your toddler’s feelings, no matter how irrational, are nevertheless real to him, and must be taken seriously. Empathize with him by acknowledging his feelings and telling him it’s okay for him to feel them. And then remind him how much better he’ll feel when you come pick him up.

Be patient

Most toddlers go through a stage of separation anxiety at least once, and many experience it several times. Remember to be patient with your child, and remember that even though it’s heartbreaking to leave your child when he’s sad, it would be even more heartbreaking to leave a child who doesn’t care that you’re leaving.

About Jeff Jacobson

Socrates understood himself to be the smartest man in Athens because he knew at least enough to know he knew nothing. That's me. I'm an inconsistently successful father, stepfather, husband, and writer. But at least I know it.

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Photo: Jeff Jacobson

When I first met the woman who would later do me the honor of becoming my wife, she already had a charming and delightful two-year-old who has since become a charming and delightful seven year old. Back then, I didn’t know anything about being a dad. Dads were older than I was, and certainly more knowledgable and worldly. I was already 26, but I felt like a kid.

The first time I took care of that two-year-old by myself, it was an unmitigated disaster. No one was physically harmed, but that’s about the best I can say for the situation. Long story short, I neglected to remind her to use the bathroom before nap time, and paid the price. She was crying, I was embarrassed and unsure of what to do. It was a very un-dad-like moment. { read more }

About Jeff Jacobson

Socrates understood himself to be the smartest man in Athens because he knew at least enough to know he knew nothing. That's me. I'm an inconsistently successful father, stepfather, husband, and writer. But at least I know it.

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Photo: Flickr, barbourians

Not to brag or anything, but my baby may be better than your baby. She never cries, she eats anything you put on the table (did someone say brussel sprouts?!), she sleeps in every morning, and she always takes her naps on schedule. She’s a dream.

Or, at least, she used to be.

Lately, she’s been anything but a dream. She’s still perfect — in my eyes, anyway — but her new schedule is most decidedly not.

The truth is, no matter how ideal or difficult your baby’s schedule is, it’s unlikely to stay the same for long. Babies experience growth spurts at fairly predictable intervals, but there’s simply no predicting how those changes will affect her schedule. Thankfully, there are some tips you can employ to ease the transition, for both you and your baby. { read more }

About Jeff Jacobson

Socrates understood himself to be the smartest man in Athens because he knew at least enough to know he knew nothing. That's me. I'm an inconsistently successful father, stepfather, husband, and writer. But at least I know it.

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Photo: nateOne, Flickr

If you are the mom, dad, grandparent or caretaker of a “fussy toddler” you may find yourself exhausted by the end of the day, wondering what you’re doing wrong, and running out of ways to keep your toddler occupied and happy. While you may not be able to change the temperament of your child, there are ways to navigate this time, and even thrive. Here are a few tips to help you cope with, and cherish, these early years. { read more }

About Liz Alfano

I write "Dirty Words," the blog about things you should know, but might not. I'm the mother of two elementary school-aged boys and wife of one adult aged man. When not writing, I can be found reading or staring into space wishing I was either reading or writing. Sometimes I'm seen vacuuming...but not often. www.mydirtywords.com

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Photo: abardwell, Flickr

Potty training is a hit-or-miss venture for new parents, and different parents will adopt different strategies to achieve a diaper-free world. But no matter what your M.O., you’ll need a few tips and tricks to help you along the way.

Remember the Boy Scouts’ code: Be prepared

Whether you begin potty training your young one as early as possible, or wait until you’re sure he or she is ready, it’s unlikely your child will succeed straight out of the gate. And it’s even less likely you’ll go accident-free for long. So be prepared. When your child is potty training out on the town, bring an extra change of clothes and some wipes. Additionally, lightweight portable potties are available for purchase to help your tot get used to a pot. Hopefully you won’t need them, but you’ll be very grateful to have them if you do. { read more }

About Jeff Jacobson

Socrates understood himself to be the smartest man in Athens because he knew at least enough to know he knew nothing. That's me. I'm an inconsistently successful father, stepfather, husband, and writer. But at least I know it.

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Photo: Flickr, TheeErin

You may not have considered it, but your teenager is repeating a cycle long forgotten. He or she is basically in a newborn stage again, but this time they can talk! Sleep is super important, their delicate comfort (or discomfort) can throw the entire family into a tizzy, and they never stop eating. Everything is changing all at once and they’re learning their place in the world, just like they did as newborns. Here are a few tips to help you move through this time with ease.

1. Remember that your teen is normal!

The teen years, and possibly the pre-teen years depending your child, usher in a new sense of “self.” Up to this point, your child has been depending on you to teach and guide them. Your words and actions have been the number one way that they know how to live in the world. But now their brains and bodies are growing with great speed, aided by a rush of hormones. Everything is changing and you may not be the number one teacher anymore. They want to think for themselves, try on new identities, and see how far they can push the family envelope. This is a normal, healthy time for your growing child. { read more }

About Liz Alfano

I write "Dirty Words," the blog about things you should know, but might not. I'm the mother of two elementary school-aged boys and wife of one adult aged man. When not writing, I can be found reading or staring into space wishing I was either reading or writing. Sometimes I'm seen vacuuming...but not often. www.mydirtywords.com

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Photo: tanya_little, Flickr

Undergoing fertility treatments can open you up to a whole range of emotions. During this time of expectation, and often stress, there is no “correct” way to handle your feelings. You may feel elated at the start only to experience frustration if the treatment process is unsuccessful. For some couples undergoing fertility therapy, the physiological responses of stress, anxiety, and even anger, can be counterproductive to conceiving.

Here are a few tips on how you can curb some of those emotions so they affect your fertility quest in a positive way. { read more }

About Martine De Luna

I'm a freelance writer, editor, blogger and former preschool teacher. Married with one kid, I'm a work-at-home mom, but most of all, a mom-in-the-works. I'm a work in progress, and I believe that living intentionally day by day will help me become the best mom for my child.

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons

When labor and birth don’t go the “usual” way, many women are left feeling deprived of an experience that seems so vital to the process of motherhood. Cesarean sections, or “surgical births,” are on the rise accounting for more than 30% of American births. While there are clear medical reasons for a C-section, for a woman it can feel like a passive delivery of the baby. It’s important to remember that each birth is a rite of passage and has its own unique qualities.

We look to birth as a validation of our strength as women

“Whatever way birth happens, it is your rite of passage into motherhood, and that passage is to be celebrated. Natural childbirth is a passage, cesarean birth is a passage, and birth with an epidural is a passage to be celebrated. That passage cannot be taken away from you. Every mother’s birth experience is valid, and an act of courage.”
-Ananda Lowe from “The Doula Guide to Birth” 

It’s often difficult to keep this in mind after a C-section. A woman may have worries involved with the surprise C-section, including:  Will I be able to VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section)? Why did things go wrong? Will recovery be much harder? { read more }

About Liz Alfano

I write "Dirty Words," the blog about things you should know, but might not. I'm the mother of two elementary school-aged boys and wife of one adult aged man. When not writing, I can be found reading or staring into space wishing I was either reading or writing. Sometimes I'm seen vacuuming...but not often. www.mydirtywords.com

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Among the woman who seek to be more closely tied to the birthing process, there is a growing movement of mothers saving the placenta after childbirth.  Some choose to honor their afterbirth with a burial ceremony, while others will consume it after cooking or encapsulating it in pills, as it is believed to aid in milk production, hormonal balancing, and uterine restoration.

Placenta may contain beneficial properties

In the world of mammals, almost every other animal mother instinctively eats the placenta after birth. Though the debate is divided as to whether they are replenishing resources lost at birth or hiding the trail of vulnerability, it begs the question: if a mammal instinctively does something, does that make it normal and healthy? There isn’t a consensus among medical professionals, and the FDA is suspicious of the practice, but more and more moms are convinced that taking their placentas back into their bodies after birth have helped them ease postpartum pains and regulated their moods more quickly. { read more }

About Liz Alfano

I write "Dirty Words," the blog about things you should know, but might not. I'm the mother of two elementary school-aged boys and wife of one adult aged man. When not writing, I can be found reading or staring into space wishing I was either reading or writing. Sometimes I'm seen vacuuming...but not often. www.mydirtywords.com

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