Photo: Tracy Morris
Nobody wants to be in a fertility patient’s shoes. But talk to enough women and men who’ve been through it and you’ll hear plenty of stories that sound like they actually benefited from going through infertility to wherever they are today. Is it just a matter of selective hindsight? Making the best lemonade from what life throws your way? Evidence of the tremendous relief they feel from not being in their own past shoes? Are they just crazy?
One of the first books written by a woman about her personal infertility journey is “Inconceivable” by Julia Indichova. It’s now been 20 years since Indichova was told by fertility specialists that she had zero chances of conception. She took the pronouncement as a challenge and wound up with not only two children and another book (“The Fertile Female”), but a completely different view of life that eventually evolved into a calling.
The community Indichova created in 1997, Fertile Heart, was one of the first Internet destinations for people struggling with infertility. She followed that creation with the Fertile Heart™ Ovum Program, a holistic, systematic healing approach to fertility.
To mark the 20th anniversary of her infertility diagnosis and in commemoration of National Infertility Awareness Week, Indichova is launching a new blog series with the intriguing title of “Priceless Lessons In-Fertility,” written by alumni of the Fertile Heart program, women whom Indichova calls “Visionary Moms.” In her introductory post, Julia remarks that the stories will likely inspire readers to “never again think of yourself as infertile or punished or suffering from a debilitating disease!”
That’s one of the sparkling kernels of the Fertile Heart program: People who are confronted with fertility challenges nearly always spend some time labeling themselves and their lives with anything but positive terms — and it doesn’t help a thing. For many people, the infertility journey is the first or most impacting path in their lives when their desires and efforts are not enough. No matter how much we like to complain about the insensitive comments of others, those first lingering thoughts (“maybe you’re not meant to be a mother”) come straight from our own minds and stick around. It only takes a few months of trying to conceive before a lot of women have convinced themselves of the worst-case scenarios.
Supportive programs like Fertile Heart aren’t the only places you’ll find practitioners suggesting that you might find some valuable gems hidden along your infertility journey. Even reproductive endocrinologists and urologists will attest to the unexpected revelations about a person’s overall health that arise through infertility treatment. And if you’re on your way to parenthood, the timing for cleaning up your lifestyle and making your body strong couldn’t be better.
A lot of people come through the infertility journey thinking everyone — including those who conceive and birth babies with unplanned ease — could benefit from what they’ve learned. Knowing that may not make your current struggles feel better, but keep your eyes and heart open. You could wind up just as surprised as the others (crazy as this sounds) at your own strength, wisdom, and value — and with that knowledge, your life will be full and rich, no matter where your path ends.
About Tracy Morris
I wear a lot of hats while spinning plates and true stories. In between taking care of myself and my family, I write about fertility and other health care topics. Most of my online time lately is spent at two very different places: FertilityTies.com and TrailerParkKarma.com. Perspective is everything -- my pre-teen reminds me daily.
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